(orginal by Elishua, translation by Eaglesword)
What has love to do with feelings? What r feelings themself? (more about later on)
What is the meaning of this word "love"? When I look up in the differing Bibles, I read about "love", "beloved", "loving", but, what is the all- about of the word "love"?
"Love is feelings", "to do something good", people use to say.
Well, love has nothing to do with feelings. Love is more, more than a word. Love runs deep.
Now, what is love? Just sincerly. I also did´nt know about, until Father let me know by my own example:
How many r there, who were´nt allowed to learn know love! Just because of unknowlegde about what love is and it´s purpose in their families. If in groups or families love is not present, then, because it is unknown among those people.
If the parents received no love by their own parents, then, how could they give love whilst they never received and never learned about?
I, too, am countet to those who´s parents did´nt know better. My mother did´nt want me, though she did´nt want abortion. Well, now the child is there. Needs providing. Receives meals, fluid and clothing. But it never was acceptet as it is. My mother intentet me, 4 years old, to sell to a doctor for 10.000 deutschmarks.
I was a good, silent, kind child. Never learned to deal with feelings, never cried. Cannot remember to have been comforted or just simply be huged by my parents. As child I was very much allone and raised harshly. This was normal in my sight!
What r feelings? What is love? Was an alien word to me.
I thaught I was good and without failures! Saw myself always positiv! Always got rejected, by fam, friends and collegues!
"U r nothing!", "u r unable", "ugh, come on, u do´nt understand it!" That was the stuff I received. I had to change. For each one I should be another.
Though all, I searched for peace, hatet such disharmony. I did´nt punch literally back when I became stamped again to be "nothing" though I knew that I was right. I was there for others, attenting, listening, investet time to others, tried to understand others and acceptet them as they were.
If I was in trouble, nobody listened to me. I was patient to others, but not to myself. This way i lived until I was allowed to learn knowing G'd.
I immediately could love G'd! To me, he is the most beautiful and dearest I got and need. I had absolutely no problem to just accept him. I feel his love, which I never received or would get by human.
I saw him breaking me more and more and revieling my own failures to me. Those did not stem from him, but from human. When he showed all this to me, I asked him to change me as he wantet me to become. I give all to him: My life, my love, my heart. "But, please, change me as u want me to be. I trust in u."
I had fallen into a deep hole. Became depressed for a short while, but kept abide to G'd more intensed and surrenderd myself more to him in case of his aim with me.
The word "love" broke through more and more though still I could not really deal with. Time passed by, and once again I was frustratet. I was fed up with being the listening, the good girl. I told it to G'd under tears, that I did not longer wantet to care for others, thinking instead of themselfes. I lamentet: "And who listens to me? Who cares for me? I give up, it is too hard!"
I cried and cried. Suddenly G'd said: "This is love. U got love. The humans cannot see that u live love!" Immediately I silented. "That is what?", I asked. "Love, yes.", he said, "It is love. This love has nothing to do with feelings."
I needed some days to realize it. But, after I understood, I felt free. Resqued off the pain of duty, I begann to joyfully see that many things in my life had been right, because done by love. The troubles always came by missunderstanding me.
Well, still he breakes me. Some time ago I could forgive my parents because they did´nt know better. Unfortunately, I am unable to tell them that I loved them, because they died a few years ago. I asked G'd to forgive!
In the word "love", we can see several expressions like "loveful", "beloved", "fallen in love", "love it", "love this and that", "I love u", "Do u love me?" and so on. Also we know it in other languages like: "Liebe", "Amore", "Agape", "Ahava" and so on.
Schlachter Bible 1951 (Phil 1:9)
"For this I pray: That ur love may grow richly in acknowlegde and all sensitivity,..."